Top Ten

LOUIS BRUNEAU, Contributor


Top Ten Things I Do That Remind Me Of Drake:

1. Asking my female friends, who are strong, independent women, if they find me threatening

2. Dying (Because YOLO)

3. Crying (while on toilet)

4. Guesting on a track with my good friend Lil Wayne

5. Remembering my high school days, when I had to use a wheelchair, but then I got better

6. Sipping (with a “g”) on syrup, only I get the proportions wrong and throw up on myself and need to be taken to the emergency room

7. Crying (while reading Tumblr)

8. Crying (while eating)

9. Blurring the line between singing and rhyming, making it seem like I’m talking to the listener one-on-one, apparently

10. Crying (while rapping)


Top Ten Things I’ll Miss About Writing For The Round Table:

1. Getting paid for all my hard work

2. Having my own desk

3. The clever bantering

4. Casting Mike Wallace’s death mask

5. Crushing bananas on the printing presses

6. Reading my own columns and breaking down with choking sobs….of mirth

7. Being able to think about something other than the chorus to Berlin’s “Take My Breath Away”, the love theme from Tom Cruise fly-’em-up Top Gun

8. Two words: Wax lips

9. Forming sentences that will be read by someone, anyone

10. Making Beloit laugh (not a guarantee)



One thought on “Top Ten

  1. Farts farts farts

    Posted by Jefferson VonTaintAlot | June 2, 2012, 1:52 am

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