HANA SKOBLOW, Staff Writer
• Not to be a Debbie Downer for your St. Patty’s Day memories, but the body of a woman was found in a retention pond near the Beloit Wal-Mart on Sat., March 17. The case has since been ruled as an accident and the police department believes that 49-year-old Michelle Lynn Burke Silbar was taking a walk when she fell multiple times, landing in the pond. She was likely impaired (who wasn’t?), but police are still awaiting toxicology reports.
• Israel passed a law on March 20 banning the use of underweight models from both advertising and runway work. From now on, Israeli models will be required to provide medical proof that their BMI (Body Mass Index) is 18.5 or above. Critics say that the law should have focused on health, not weight, as some women are naturally thin, but the government hopes that providing models of average weight will a healthier body image to the public. Currently, 2 percent of Israeli girls age 14-18 suffer from a severe eating disorder.
• In the most important news of this week and more proof of what is the greatest domesticated animal, Sugar, a 4-year-old deaf cat survived a fall from a 19-story skyscraper in Boston. Sugar walked away from the 200-foot plunge with only scrapes and bruises, although she did cause a small crater in the ground where she fell. Officials say at such a height, cats glide through the air a la the “flying squirrel.” It’s like she’s a f*cking superhero. Cats are awesome.
• The most irresponsible person ever just got a little bit more unbelievable. Snooki, the too tan, too poofy, and too entertaining guidette will be joining Jersey Shore for its upcoming sixth season. She, and her unborn baby. That’s right: pregnant Snooki will be part of the cast of characters in a show based on alcoholism, fights, random sex and peeing in public. During a screening of last season’s finale when Snooki announced her pregnancy, she said that one of the biggest benefits to having a child at 24 that doesn’t occur to most people: “Having a kid so young means I can be a MILF.”
• The numbers of male rape victims by female perpetrators have been on the rise in Zimbabwe. Some women are raping men with gun, knife or snakebite threats to collect semen to use for traditional rituals to bring good luck, or “juju.” While the practice of using semen as a tradable commodity began about seven years ago, the media is only recently beginning to shed light on the reports. Sociologist Watch Ruparanganda believes the phenomenon can be traced back to men not wanting to pay prostitutes monetarily, and instead traded a knotted, used condom full of semen for sex. Unfortunately, there is no law in place that criminalizes rape by a woman in Zimbabwe.
• As of March 22, national unemployment rates dropped to 8.3 percent, the lowest rate in the last four years. The most hiring since 2009 marked December ‘11 through February ’12 because during this time, the economy added an average of 245,000 jobs each month. Economists expect unemployment to continue decreasing as polls reveal that Americans are becoming more optimistic and confident about the workforce.
Sources: Nerve, BBC, ABC, The Republic, MSNBC, USA Today, Raw Story