Hana Skoblow, STAFF WRITER
• Invisible Children co-founder and headliner of the KONY 2012 campaign was arrested and hospitalized for exhaustion, dehydration and malnutrition on Mar. 16 for doing some weird sh*t. According to original reports, Jason Russell was interfering with traffic and drunkenly masturbating in public. Later, witnesses said he was wearing only boxers and did not appear to be intoxicated, but may have been suffering from a mental breakdown. A new video released on TMZ shows Russell nakedly hitting the ground with an object next to a major San Diego road near SeaWorld. At the end of the video, he stands up with naked pride in a Tarzan-like stance. The hospital’s psychiatric ward staff will release Russell if and when they can determine that he is not a menace to society.
• John Wilkes Booth bobbleheads were removed from the Gettysburg Museum & Visitors Center last weekend on grounds of being really f*cking creepy. The bobbleheads came in a box decorated like the Ford Theater where Lincoln was shot and Booth was holding a pistol. One hundred and fifty weirdos ordered the bobbleheads online, but putting them in the museum dedicated to the victim’s life achievements seemed like one step too far.
• Queen of butter, biscuits, the deep fryer, diabetes and “the crazy eyes,” Paula Deen is now facing a lawsuit pressed by the manager of one of her restaurants, Lisa Jackson. Jackson is suing both Deen and her business partner, brother Earl “Bubba” Hiers, on charges of “racist behavior and sexual harassment, infliction of emotional distress and assault.” Allegedly, Deen and Hiers frequently used the N-word, including at Heirs’ 2007 wedding while referring to President Obama. Jackson also claims that Heirs referred to her as “my little Jew girl” after successfully managing the business, and often asked her to bring in pictures of herself when she was younger after watching pornography on the computer in their shared office. Deen and Heirs are denying all claims and plan to take the suit to court.
• An image of Mitt Romney and Satan shaking hands on a piece of burnt toast is up for sale on eBay, if you’re interested. The description says that this image is proof that “the Mormon religion is a cult that was devised by Satan himself” and encouraged this “true-blue Republican” to vote Democrat next election season. The starting bid is only $0.99 and bidding ends Mar. 23. Probably it’s so cheap because it really just looks like a piece of burnt toast.
• The NYC brownstone that housed icon Carrie Bradshaw, her cigarettes and her many gorgeous, shirtless lovers in “Sex and the City” is now on the market. Since we’ll all graduate from Beloit College with a very important job lined up that will make us wealthy for years to come, take that $9.65 million you’ve got laying around and take a bid on the beautiful four story, five bedroom apartment in Manhattan’s West Village.
• A Little League team in trouble of losing the ability to play the greatest American sport is receiving funding from the most unpredictable of donors: a strip club. Jet Strip’s donation of $1,200 will allow the 300 Little League to play one more season.
• Comedian, actor, and crazy person Russell Brand is fighting felony charges filed against him from an iPhone incident in New Orleans. Brand snatched a paparazzo’s iPhone and threw it into a plate glass window, then strangely claimed it was all in honor of Steve Jobs. After the incident, he tweeted the following: “Since Steve Jobs died I cannot bear to see anyone use an iPhone irreverently, what I did was a tribute to his memory.” I don’t see the logic.
Sources: Jezebel, EW, Nerve, Washington Post, eBay, Perez Hilton