News

Beyond the Bubble

HANA SKOBLOW, Staff Writer

• Maryland will become the next state with marriage equality, following in the footsteps of the recent decision in Washington. The bill passed in the house with a 72-67 vote and in the senate with a 25-22 vote. Gov. Martin O’Malley has said on numerous occasions that he plans on signing the bill; however, the bill will probably end up on a November referendum. Opponents have collected the signatures necessary for a petition to delay the bill until the popular vote, but what will happen then is up to Maryland’s citizens.

• No need to keep watching “The Jetsons” (does anyone still do that?), the future is here! Google will be launching Android-powered glasses by the end of the year. The glasses lens will contain a small screen a few inches from the user’s eye with 3G power and GPS. While we all want to be able to check out the hot new transfer student’s relationship status on Facebook while passing him on College Street and definitely can’t wait to see the weirdo waving his head back and forth while playing Plants vs. Zombies, there are some pretty serious criticisms of the Android glasses. With the increase in collecting information from an Internet footprint, what happens if these glasses allow Google to collect information from individuals’ actual footprint, based on what they can see? The glasses also have some lesser, though creepy implications, such as subtly taking violating pictures during a yoga class. Who knew that this is what the future would hold?
• A 52-year-old man in a black trench coat and maroon tie walked into a Denny’s in Madison and declared that he was the new general manager effective immediately. He then proceeded to make himself a complimentary cheeseburger with a side of fries and a soft drink. The real manager called the police and the man was arrested when they found that he was concealing a gun and had a briefcase full of crackpipes. Figures.
• Paris Hilton is doing big things again. The woman who brought us “That’s hot” and an awkward sex tape is back with her new single “Drunk Texting.” Less of a song and more of a spoken-word piece, “Drunk Texting” begins with the line: “Last night I went out to the club to, ya know, dance with my bitches.” She also explains how “sexting” is a combination of the words “sex” and “texting.” Thank god, because I was so confused. The video was leaked and was immediately taken down, though it’s still available on Perez Hilton’s (super boring since he got nice) website. Check it out. It’s destined to be an instant classic.
• The one and only Chris Brown may be facing robbery charges from an incident on Feb. 19. Allegedly, Florida fan Christal Spann tried to take a picture of the celebrity on her cell phone while he was in his car leaving a club. Reports say that Brown grabbed Spann’s phone and said, “Bitch, you ain’t going to put that on no website,” rolled up his car window, and drove off with Spann’s phone. No arrest have been made yet, but let’s cross our fingers that one will.

•   This past week, the Alabama and Virginia legislatures saw  two anti-abortion bills that required women to receive a transvaginal ultrasound before having an abortion. The Virginia bill was later amended to receiving an external ultrasound after VA Gov. Bob McDonald told the legislature that he would not sign the original bill. The Alabama version was introduced this week, but it adds that a doctor who does not administer an ultrasound before performing an abortion could face 10 years in prison and a $15,000 fine. AL Gov. Robert Benley has not stated whether he supports the bill.

Sources: Huffington Post, Nerve, LA Times, Gawker, Perez Hilton

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