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Louis Bruneau’s Top Ten

Top 10 Reasons Why I Am Writing This Column:

LOUIS BRUNEAU, Contributor

10. Have lost ability to speak, hear; still want to be recognized as funnier than Daniel Tosh

9. Even Garrison Keillor [cross out Garrison Keillor here] PJ O’Rourke had to start small

8. Watched too much Big Bang Theory; got kicked out of BSFFA

7. All the squirrels I can eat

6. Diplomatic immunity (Only applicable in humanities buildings)

5. Sketches for Voodoo Barbie rejected (sketches written on paper made out of pulped walruses)

4. Wish to wear fingers down to bone for cool skeleton costume

3. Love to see my writing in the garbage

2. Need to compile portfolio to show to top brass at High Times

1. Get to lick all of Java Joint’s wraps whenever I feel like it

Top 10 -punk Classes Soon To Arise At Beloit After The Success Of That One Steampunk Class:

10. Intro to Crust: Not Just For Teeth Anymore!

9. Creative Writing: Splatterpunk

8. Danzig: A Profile in Courage

7. The Ethics of Composting in Biopunk

6. Nanopunk: Someone Injected Me With Tiny Computers

5. Physics of D-beat: One Drum Pattern, Tens of Riffs

4. Post-Seapunk: How The Little Mermaid Started (and Ended) a Sub-sub-genre

3. Feminist Approaches to Steampunk: The Cogs are Vaginas

2. Pop-punk: A Bastard Concept (Can be taken for IDST credit)1. Beyond Cyberpunk: I Thought Everything Was Supposed To Be Like Tron

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