Sports Bro’s Inbox

MARK COOGAN, Sports Editor

If Blake Griffin dunks in a forest and no is there to see it, does Kendrick Perkins have any reason to keep living?

Umberto Connelly ‘13

If anyone has not seen the play that Umberto is referring to, you need to check out this YouTube link: Okay, everyone has seen it now? Good. I think it’s safe to say that that will be the dunk of the year in the NBA. I know that most teams still have about forty games to play, but seriously, is anything going to top that? Kendrick Perkins has based his entire career around being the scariest player in the league. He is constantly scowling and it is very rare for an announcer or reporter to not use words like “imposing,” “terrifying,” and “mean” when describing his game. Blake Griffins posterization of Perkins is like a story being published about how the Boogeyman actually runs a non-profit company that rescues baby bunny rabbits and nurses sick kittens back to health. Unbelievable dunk.

Is there anything more obnoxious than a bandwagon fan? I’m tired of reading Facebook statuses about sports teams from people who couldn’t name two people from the team’s roster a year ago.

Kellen Sullivan ‘12

You’re right Kellen. Bandwagon fans are annoying, but they are actually only the third most obnoxious kind of fan. Here’s a break down of the top three:

3. Bandwagon fans. Any time a team has a surprisingly good season, like the one the Green Bay Packers had last year and the New York Giants had this year, you’ll see these fans come out of the woodwork. They love to tell you all about their team and their favorite players and why their team is better than yours but as soon as the team starts to hit a rough patch, they’ll be gone faster than cockroaches when you turn a light on.

2. Fans that wear a jersey of a team not competing in the game they are attending. This summer, I attended a baseball game between the Chicago Cubs and the Pittsburgh Pirates and sat in front of a guy wearing a St. Louis Cardinals jersey. There are two reasons that a person would do this: The first is that they are not really into sports and so in an effort to fit in at the game, they put on the only sports shirt they owned. The second, and more obnoxious reason is that the person is a big sports fan, and in the case of the man in the Cardinals jersey, just wants to be a jerk and start arguments with as many people as possible. These guys are pretty bad, but the worst are…

1. Fans who say “we” when referring to their favorite sports team. They are often also bandwagon fans and in an effort to compensate for the fact that they just started rooting for the team, they refer to themselves as part of the team. If you are a fan who says we when referring to your favorite team, know this: You do not play for the team. You are not involved in their games in any way. You being a fan has no impact whatsoever on the outcome of the game and, truthfully, if one of the players met you, they probably wouldn’t even want to hang out with you. Don’t say “we.” It’s obnoxious.

What was the best Super Bowl commercial?


This was a great game and one of the few in recent memory when the commercials didn’t live up to the game in terms of entertainment. Speaking of surprising developments, when did Eli Manning become one of the best quarterbacks in the NFL?  Pretend I asked you in August to pick a quarterback to lead a fourth quarter Super Bowl drive, down by two with four minutes left in the game, you might have said Manning. To which I would have replied, “Eli or Peyton?” And then we both would have had a good laugh because it was so silly to even consider that Eli would be in that discussion. But Eli proved both of us wrong. He might end up with a better career than his brother when all is said and done. But I digress.

The best commercial was either the one for Doritos where the dogs murdered the cat, or the one for where the little boy peed on his sister. I hope everyone reading this watched the whole game and all the commercials; otherwise that sentence is going to be really disturbing.



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