Features

The Joy Of…Shaving

By Joy Belamarich
SEX COLUMNIST

Dear Joy,

Recently I’ve been hooking up

with this guy. He’s super hot and

has moves in bed, but sometimes

when he’s drunk, he says that the

reason he can’t get it up is because

of my bush.  I know I keep it

trimmed down there, but this is

really making me self-conscious.

Should I really shave so he can get

it up?  Help!

Sincerely,

Bashful about Becoming Bald

Dear Bashful,

Girl, that guy sounds like a turd.

You deserve better!  Jesus lord, a

scrawny chipmunk deserves better!

I hope you stopped and asked him

to wax his hairy ass since it was

really distracting you and keeping

you dry as a desert.  I am tempted

to get his name so I can leave a fat

clump of pubes in his mailbox.

But to answer your question,

chances are, arriving at his door

Saturday night with your private

parts as pink and bare as a baby’s

bottom won’t do the trick for his,

err, erectile deficiency.  However,

if you are still curious about the

whole experience of being bare-

down-there, the great news is that

hair grows back, usually with twice

as much gusto as before, so if you

want to go for it and try it, all the

power to you.

If it makes you feel sexy and

confident, then that’s great.  Just do

it for you, not the lame judgmental

girls in high school that stared you

down in the locker room, or the

porn stars that have little vagina-

slits, and definitely not the drunk

hairy-ass turd (sorry for assuming

that he has a hairy ass, it’s just how

I picture him).

Unfortunately, shaving has just

become a part of our generation,

but who knows, by the time our

daughters are teenagers, the sexy

thing might be putting your pubic

hair in little braids.  Good luck!

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