Super Bowl

By Mark Coogan

You know what really chafes my crank? The Super Bowl is two days away. The Super Bowl is the epitome of all things American. Across the nation, Americans will sit in front of big screen, high definition televisions and stuff their faces with potato chips and mozzarella sticks. Why do we have to wait so long for this glorious event to happen? The two-week break between the conference championship games and the Super Bowl is one of the worst traditions in sports. It makes the ProBowl pointless, it gives sports reporters two weeks to recycle the same redundant stories, and it really chafes my crank.

The ProBowl was last weekend. Did you watch it? Did you care? No? Me neither. And I love football. Why would a self-proclaimed football lover not care about football’s all-star game? Maybe it was because it was full of B-list football players. There is a reason the Packers and Steelers are still playing on Sunday, and that is because they have some of the best players in the league on their teams. Wouldn’t you like to see Aaron Rodgers, Greg Jennings, James Harrison, and Troy Polamalu play in the ProBowl? It could be something special, but since the NFL has decided to play the ProBowl in between the conference championships and the Super Bowl, these elite players will always pass on the ProBowl, and it will always be lame.

Speaking of lame, have you read the sports section of any newspaper in the last two weeks? If you haven’t, don’t worry; I can tell you everything you missed. The Pittsburgh Steelers are playing the Green Bay Packers for the Vince Lombardi Trophy in Dallas. This particular game is called the Super Bowl. They will play the game using a regulation football. Besides this utter lack of news, USA Today even resorted to using half-page photographs of players and coaches to fill the space that is usually words. The story hasn’t changed for two weeks. For Pete’s sake, let’s just play the freaking game already.

I can’t wait to sit down Sunday night with a giant bag of chips and a huge bowl of salsa and watch some of the best commercials, and possibly football, that America has to offer. I just wish it all could have happened a week ago. Maybe someday soon the NFL will fix this Super Bowl timing problem; but until they do my crank will remain chafed.



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